the time i re-created the entire united states... and learned basic woodworking at the same time.

[Begin story] I followed directions and made it there safely; even found an easy place to park. I walked in not really knowing what to expect; all's I knew is I was excited to see that guitar building classes actually existed and this one called my name out from the flyer on the wall. In the first class we all introduced ourselves and the instructor went over what we would be doing over the next 6 weeks. There were four other people in the class, ranging from an 18 year old female to a 50-something guy who played in a band. I had no idea we would be designing the guitar too (I didn't even know what that meant). He gave us each a piece of paper to draw out the guitar we were envisioning. Shoot, I was thinking. I can't draw and I don't know what shape I'm supposed to draw. So I drew clouds and animals and eventually places...and ended up with the idea of creating a guitar the shape of the United States of America. And! the instructor didn't even think it was a bad idea. I think he said it might be challenging, and I think I ignored him.

I spent that week googling the USA to find a good outline. Nick (my instructor) suggested making the edges more smooth/ artistic and less jagged/accurate, so I did the best I could with that....and ended up printing a silly outline on four sheets of paper, cutting them out, taping 'em together, and then tracing it onto the block of alder (wood) we each got. It worked, somehow. I learned about making relief cuts and did that while most everyone else was using the router to make room for their electronics cavities and pickups (I sure didn't know what that meant, but wikipedia and guitar fetish help much). I looked at guitar fetish (based out of the north shore!) and listened to the mp3 files for each pickup and found one that sounded nice...called Cool Vintage (can't wait to actually hear it).

So classes 3 and 4 I used this huge band saw to cut out my guitar. I was nervous. I also accidentally cut off part of Cali during the first few minutes using it (oopsie!). Somehow I made the Cape - don't ask me how. I made up most of the eastern seaboard (No, I don't know where New York City went). Not to ignore my friends in Alaska and Hawaii, I attempted to free-hand them - Alaska on the back (huge, just like it is) and Hawaii on the headstock near the tuners. They didn't look half bad, but of course I had to sand them off (the surface needed sanding before I could finish it). I redrew them later and they came out ok-ish (I used brown Sharpie and it seemed to work well). Lots and lots of sanding ensued. I had the US; the outline looked cool; I wanted it to be less blocky though. I used a sanding block on the hard edges and softened them into awesomeness. Sand, sand, sand. Made some more holes for strings and tuners and the neck and such. Used some sweet tools; router, band saw, drill, drill press, disc sander.


Wanted a natural finish so you could see the grain in the wood and so it would feel genuine. After sanding s'more, I applied two coats of very light urethane on the guitar. (Then I went to Tennessee for 5 days). I came back and needed to finish my guitar in 2 days before the last class. I knew I wanted something shiny/sheeny/clear/veneer both to protect it and to make it look finished. So.... Saturday night around 9 I went to Home Depot (while Chris made cookies!) and wandered around....until I found Super Glaze. Super Glaze claims to provide the strength and look of 60 coats of varnish; unbelievable I said!; and so I bought it. It was the messiest crap I've ever used, my goodness. I was not prepared for this. It got everywhere and dripped and hadn't set yet when I checked on it (2 and 6:30am). I was upset and thought my guitar was ruined. As it turns out, it probably was just the temperature; SG needs 70 degrees to cure and I had it in Chris' basement.

Don't worry though, it wasn't actually the end of the world. I was able to fix it....and even coat the other side of the guitar. And meet with the instructor after the class officially ended so we could solder the electronics. (And it wouldn't be complete without a vegan guitar strap made from recycled seat belts! Sweet! Thanks Couch).

Now I have no excuses not to practice and learn to play. Ask me about it someday, maybe.